Oh dear @Anonymous
My heart goes out to you.
I completely understand the situation you are in. Is she your first girlfriend? Where are you based out of?
We all kind of continue in the relationships we are in even though we find out this might not work in the hopes that eventually it will work. Unfortunately there are still many communities in india where people are not broad minded. It is not just restricted to religion but various divisions inside that.
Obviously you are in love with her. She on the other side is taking the practical/reality check route and making decisions.
First I need to know what is the hurry to get married if you are in your early 20s? You have your whole life ahead of you to settle in the marriage way. Are you firstly okay about being married so young?
When she says she doesnt love you, it is pretty obvious to both you and me that this is just an excuse to not fight for you.
I will be a little real for you so that you get a non emotional perspective.
Leave all the cliche stuff behind, 22 is preferably not an age to get married for a guy. You need to live your life first, make a career, set a footing for yourself and your future. Live life a bit. In india marriage is such an obsession with people, they think its the ultimate salvation. People come and go in our lives, but what remains permanent is our own timeline of life.
It is really unfortunate if she doesn't fight for you. If she chooses to abide by her parents and the society, then perhaps she is not the person for you. She continued to be in a relationship with you despite everything right, so this was her choice equally. To be honest, if she doesn't fight for your existence in her life, perhaps, you deserve to be with someone else, who VALUES your existence, who RESPECTS the love, time and effort you will put for her.
You are absolutely correct in wondering how you can talk to her parents about a future as a student!!! It is absolute common sense! Women unfortunately live in a little dream world of their that is fuelled by society, conditions and programming to be married, then children etc etc. It is a rational, most logical and common sense thinking on your end, DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF.
Express your inhibitions to her again. If she doesn't fight for you, you cannot force this situation. I guarantee you there will be a better person waiting for you. It is the universe's way of rolling things out and give you signals.
Why did this happen then if you were not meant to be together? Well, people come and go in our lives for specific purposes. Struggles in our lives only come so that we grow and discover more about ourselves, so that we become stronger, evolve. Some people come and go to teach us something or another.
Please suggest what to do and I really want my state of mind to be in a happy place right now.
And if anybody suggests that it's good for me to let her go, then I have a question for them that if you really love somebody how can you let that person go.>>>
Don't be so hard on yourself. It takes a long time to get over someone. You will not be over her for a long time, 4 years is a long time to be with someone. Iv been in relationships that broke away from me after 8 yrs and then another after 8 years again. Here i am, alive and happy.
Let me message you separately as well dost. I feel your pain.
@DelhiLover15 @ilovegrannystew it would be great to hear from you too and help this young man.